I’ve started a couple posts but I’ve found that my emotions get the better of me halfway through or I’m trying to explain something that’s second nature to mormons and end up on a huge tangent. It’s exhausting.

So, in the interest of readership (I’m an attention whore just like everyone else), I want to share one of the weirdest, creepiest parts of mormonism: trying to get out.

LDS isn’t like others churches. You can’t just stop going. You can’t become lax in your involvement without a dozen people trying to have you come back. They track and follow you from the time you’re a baby or from the time you convert. And if they lose track of you because of multiple moves or you just don’t want them to? They just call your family to find out where you are. There’s a whole department dedicated to this.

If you want to be involved with the LDS church this is great. If not, it’s goddamn creepy and annoying. In order to stop ALL contact you have to write a letter to their headquarters, they forward your letter to whoever is local, the local clergy make a last ditch effort to get you to stay and THEN you’re just moved to a different list that says you used to be a member. It’s like trying to leave a fucking gang only the beatdown is emotional instead of physical.

So begins one’s life as a nonmember and social pariah in your former LDS community. Congratulations.